Second Chance
by Anjirika
Summary: Coda to Season 4 Episode 4 "Kick the Ballistics" where Kate and Castle have a conversation that is LONG over due. Another in my series of getting Kate & Castle together. Please read and review!


DISCLAIMER: The characters of CASTLE do not belong to me.

_Author's Note: I loved Monday's episode. I really did. I loved how Castle asked Kate AGAIN if she remembered anything and I absolutely HATED how she lied to him. AGAIN. And I'm REALLY not looking forward to next week's episode, what with Castle having his hands all over another woman. –facepalm- those two need to get together… so that's what I've done here._

**Second Chance**

Kate watched the young man leave the precinct, thinking how he was going off to start a new life away from the family that had gotten the woman he loved killed. To her it didn't seem fair that he should have to earn such a second chance under such tragic circumstances and in that moment, Kate realized that she too had been given a second chance at life and love, and was not taking it.

Ryan and Esposito made mutterings about hitting a bar and invited Castle to come along. At the mention of Castle's name, Kate jumped into the conversation. "Actually Castle and I were going to grab something to eat," she interjected, lying through her teeth. She watched, nervously as Castle shot her a confused glance. His back was towards the boys, and for that Kate thanked her lucky stars. She widened her eyes ever so slightly; a non-verbal response that she knew would make Castle agree with her.

"That's right," he said with an apologetic tone as he turned back to Ryan and Esposito. "I'm sorry guys but drinks are going to have to wait."

Ryan gave Castle a small smile. "Yeah, next time."

"Don't worry bro," Esposito assured with a wicked grin. "Next time."

With that said, Ryan and Esposito left, leaving Kate and Castle alone in the bull pen. Kate finished putting away all the pictures and paraphernalia that was connected to their current case and when she was done, she turned to see that Castle was watching her intently.

"What?" she asked, a little harsher then she meant to.

"We didn't make plans to grab a bite to eat," Castle pointed out.

Kate nodded sheepishly. "I know but I just thought that it would be nice."

"Well yeah," Castle agreed. "Getting a bite to eat with you is always nice I just uh… don't understand why you seemed so insistent."

"God Castle I don't need to have a reason for everything," she snapped as she grabbed her coat and her purse from the back of her chair.

"I wasn't saying that you did," Castle said as he grabbed his coat and followed Kate to the elevator. "I was just making a comment."

"Well then maybe you should keep your comments to yourself," she said as the elevator doors dinged open. She stormed in and turned around, Castle just stood there like a little lost puppy and Kate realized that she had really hurt him with her tone. "Well?" she asked in a more inquisitive tone, one that was free of any hint of anger. "You coming?"

Castle looked at her surprised. "You still want me to come?"

"Course Castle," she assured with a nod of her head.

"Well then who am I to turn down free food," he said, walking into the elevator.

"Free food?" Kate asked with a smile as the elevator doors closed.

"Well yeah," Castle replied as she hit the button to go down to the parking garage. "I mean you're the one who asked me out, I'm assuming you're paying."

"I didn't know that asking a friend to catch a bite to eat was considered 'asking you out' Castle," Kate said, trying to be flippant when inside her stomach was churning because that was exactly what she had done.

Ever since she had woken up, remembering what Castle had told her she had been trying to balance the tumult of emotions within her. When she had been shot, she knew that she had given Castle a ghost of a smile. As she lay there, dying, Kate had been quite comforted by the statement. When she had first woken up, Kate had been too overwhelmed to deal with it. And in the months that had passed, especially after she had broken up with Josh, she found herself slowly realizing that she was in love with him too, but she just didn't know how to tell him.

"But I guess you've asked enough women out that you'd be the expert," Kate continued, wincing internally at the harshness of her words. She looked to Castle who put on a brave face.

"Yes," he said with a soft laugh. "I suppose I have. But I wouldn't say that hasn't been all bad."

"Oh?" asked Kate as they walked out of the elevator. "Why is that?"

"Well the romantic would say that I just hadn't found the right woman yet."

Kate paused and turned to Castle. The way that he had spoken, to her, it had sounded almost as though he was saying that he HAD found the perfect woman. Her eyes searched his and Kate found herself frozen to the spot as he walked up to her. Kate wanted to say something, anything— even if it was to ask what he meant, but her heart was thudding to much to make it possible.

"You know I'm kind of surprised," Castle added, his voice quiet.

"Surprised about what?" asked Kate, her voice no more than a whisper.

"That you haven't asked me about my choice of words."

"I never ask about your choice of words," Kate answered. "You're a writer."

Castle smiled. "Yes but… don't you want to know?"

"Know why you make it sound as though you HAVE found the right woman?" Kate asked, surprised immensely that she had even asked such a question. Kate shook her head, answering her own question. "No. No I really don't want to know."

Castle's face fell. "Really?" he asked.

Kate closed her eyes and tried to keep a firm resolve. She could see where this conversation was going and while she had been trying to work up the courage to have this conversation for weeks, she wasn't entirely prepared to have it in the parking garage of the precinct.

"It's you," Castle said suddenly, causing Kate to open her eyes. "It's you Kate."

"I know," she blurted out, watching the surprised on Castle's face. "I've… I've always known."

"What?" he asked. "How? I haven't…" Castle paused and his eyes widened. "You remember," he said accusingly. "You remember everything, don't you?"

Kate nodded.

"How could you lie to me?" he asked angrily. "How could you pretend—"

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "But there was too much going on. We had just buried Montgomery; I had just woken up from being shot. I wasn't thinking clearly and I—"

"Had Josh," he finished bitterly.

"I was scared," she snapped.

"Scared of what?" Castle asked.

"Scared of what had happened. Scared that I could have still been in danger," Kate answered in an over-emotional tone for her. "But most of all I was scared that I wouldn't be able to handle losing you if things didn't work out…"

Castle's anger instantly vanished. "What makes you think we wouldn't…"

"This job is a marriage killer Rick," Kate interrupted in a quiet voice. "I've seen it happen. The worry. The stress. It all takes its toll."

"Life takes its toll," Castle added. "But people get through it by being a team."

"I know but—"

"We are a team," Castle continued. "I'm not going anywhere," he assured her. "I'm in it for the long haul." Kate looked into his eyes and realized what he was saying without really saying it. Kate could see that he knew what he was saying as well and that it did scare him as much as it scared her. "I love you Kate," Castle said as he took her hand. "More than anything. I almost lost you once and I don't want to lose you again…"

"I—"

"I don't mean losing you like I almost lost you," he interrupted. "I mean that… seeing you fighting for your life made me realize that I want to be a part of your life, and for you to be a part of mine. I don't want to lose the chance that we could have."

Kate closed her eyes again, and tried to will the tears away. But one leaked out and Castle rubbed it away. "Oh Castle," she whispered as she leaned into his hand, looking up into his eyes. "I love you too."

They didn't need to say anything after that. Castle just leaned down and kissed Kate— and she returned the kiss with every iota of emotion that she possessed. No matter what happened from that moment forward they would be together. They had found their second chance at love.

END


End file.
